What Your Favorite Halloween Candy Reveals About Your Personality at the Office

Last month, I did a blog about what your favorite donut says about your work personality and what I learned was … you people really take your donuts seriously! After that one, I actually got requests to do the same with Halloween candy, so here it is. Note: Like with the donuts, this unscientific “research” has been ongoing since the late 1960’s with a sample size of one … me. Hope you enjoy!

Your All-time Chocolate Monsters of Halloween Candy (Dracula Division):      

  1. Snickers

    Not flashy, but dependable. You’re the glue that holds the department together, adaptable on the fly and able to handle any crisis with cool, calm professionalism. You have a subtle grace about you at all times. The all-inclusive mixture of chocolate, caramel, nougat and peanuts proves that you’re ready for any situation. While you’re not as loved as some of your flashier coworkers, you are well-liked and respected by everyone.

  2. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups 

    Smooth as silk, you are everyone’s confidante at work. You have the trust of the whole world and get all the best gossip at lunch because people know you won’t blab. Well … that is until you get home to your significant other. Them, you tell everything and he/she wonders how you can work and remain sane at such a zoo. You can always identify the partner of a Peanut Butter Cup eater at holiday office parties because he or she already seems to be completely aware of all the dirt going on in the company.  

  3. M&M’s

    Plain M&M’s lovers are smaller in stature and always moving. You can’t stay on anything for more than a few days before you get bored and need to move on to the next project. Very outgoing, every work team needs you on it to make sure things get done on time. Peanut M&M’s people are more thoughtful and less outgoing than their plain counterparts. You are the planner of the department, making sure every “i” is dotted and every “T” is crossed. Much like your favorite Halloween candy, there is something hidden deep inside you that would be surprising to many people if they knew it was there. But enough about your bedroom closet, 50 Shades!!

  4. Butterfingers

    You’re in sales, marketing or one of the creative departments of your company. You can be a tad hyperactive and always want to be out doing something adventurous. You’re the first to try the new restaurant for lunch or whatever the new microbrew is at the local bar. You have no clue what’s popular in movies or on TV because you don’t watch either of them. At work, everyone loves to have you on their team because you’re brilliant and make everyone laugh. That is, until you exhaust them and they need a break from you. 

  5. Hershey bars

    You’re the office introvert and not a huge fan of change, but you’re loyal to a fault and pretty much everyone’s right-hand man/woman. The huge amount of work you actually get accomplished is proportionately inverse to how little you get paid. But, you don’t mind because, when the company does well, everyone does well. When you feel a little wild, you get a Hershey bar with almonds. After two or three glasses of white or rosé wine, you break out the bag of assorted miniatures and eat all the Mr. Goodbars first because you’re wicked.

Your Non-chocolate Heavy Hitters (Frankenstein Division):

  1. Starbursts

    You are a dichotomy wrapped in an enigma surrounded by a riddle. You can be the life of the party, and hands-down the most popular person at work, but like the tightly wrapped, color-coded individual candy piece you love, you demand structure in your life. Colorful most of the time, you turn surly the next minute. However, you always come through in the clutch when a project hangs in the balance. You’ll sacrifice your needs for the good of the company at times, but you’ll be sure to let them know about it later.

  2. Twizzlers 

    Due to an oral fixation, you’re a brilliant talker on a wide range of subjects. Multitasking is no problem for you as this is the perfect hand-held candy you can munch on while working. You’re destined to go into management at some point in your career. You’re dismissive of the different wild multi-versions of Twizzlers at the store. Either strawberry or cherry flavor … straight up … and not the Nibs because what’s the point of that? If you prefer black licorice flavor, you’re probably retirement age.

  3. Nerds

    You’re the kid that never grew up. You probably work in a job where adult social skills aren’t a job necessity. Your favorite beverage is Mountain Dew or root beer. You will never be at any one company for more than five years because they “don’t get you”. Hedonistic to a fault, you’ve been known to put eight mini-boxes of Nerds in your mouth at one time while playing Destiny2 on PlayStation.

  4. Skittles

    You are a close cousin to the M&M’s lovers except for the fact you don’t like chocolate. Along with the Kit Kat group, you are the most giving people in the office. You’ll cheerfully share everything and are always trying to get a group together to feed the homeless at the holidays, or fix up houses for “Habitat for Humanity.” Former President Jimmy Carter knows you by name. Even at your worst, everyone in the office likes you because of your sunny disposition and outlook on life. Halloween is your second-favorite holiday because you know the day after it’s over you can start putting up your Christmas decorations.

  5. Smarties

    Not bold enough to eat SweeTarts, you’re another quiet type in the office. Highly intelligent, you’re the most insightful person in the department and the poster child for the “Let’s think this through” mindset. You eat these miniaturized candies one at a time because putting an entire roll in your mouth is madness and could upset the natural order of things. You despise change in the workplace and your office looks the same as it did 14 years ago when you got hired just out of college. For better or worse, you’re still dating/married to your high school sweetheart.

The Best of the Rest (Wolf Man Division):

  1. Kit Kats

    By far the most generous of the chocolate bars, Kit Kats were made for sharing. You are incapable of opening the wrapper without silently singing the “Gimme a break … gimme a break … break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar” song. At work, you’ve never said “No” to anything. Boss needs you to work overtime? No problem! Give up a weekend to get that big presentation finished? Whatever it takes, team!

  2. Nestlé’s Crunch/Hershey’s 100 Grand bars

    Milk chocolate with rice krispies inside? Yes please. You’re the idealist of the office and the department counselor. When people need comfort or advice, they come to you. A great listener, you have just the right thing to say at the perfect moment. Of course, if you don’t work with another Crunch bar lover, YOUR problems just keep building up because you work with a bunch of selfish toadies who cannot reciprocate. You’ll never really explode in a fit of rage, but you’ll know that you need help when you adopt your 15th kitten or eighth dog to take home.

  3. Tootsie Rolls (original chocolate, not those wacko flavored ones)

    The Jack or Jill of all Trades in the office, your predictability is your greatest strength. Being predictable does not make you boring, however. Your coworkers, customers and clients know what to expect from you and it is always good work. Coworkers can count on you to never change, which is exactly what the department needs when times get crazy. You’re really not into social media too much except as a way to keep up with family and college friends. The podcasts you listen to are almost always history-based or true crime in topic.

And finally, the “We’re Not So Sure About You” Group (Lame Mummy Division):

  1. Candy corn

    Everyone likes you to your face, but no one trusts you if candy corn is your favorite. You don’t play well with others and don’t care. How you eat candy corn tells a lot about you too. If you pop several in your mouth at one time, your personal hygiene may be lacking and your teeth are probably not your own. If you eat one piece at a time and see how close you can get to dissecting each colored section without biting into the section above, you are a ticking time bomb and need psychiatric help. See if your company offers an Employee Assistance Program. Today.

  2. Big bag of off-brand assorted candy

    You’re a middle aged divorced guy who stopped caring a long time ago. Your favorite drink is room temperature water and your music of choice is whatever is on in the elevator at work. You often sit at your desk wearing headphones with nothing playing because you forget to turn on your $7.99 MP3 player. But, that makes you feel mysterious and dangerous and you like it. You own a pet snake named “Sophia” because you thought Estelle Getty was the sexiest Golden Girl.

  3. Circus Peanuts

    You work remotely at the request of your boss and nervous coworkers. You’ve been described as “quiet and kept to his or herself” often and you’re likely on some sort of “Watch List”, whether it is the local police, the FBI, or the NSA. Or a combination of all three.

  4. Peanut Butter Chews

    You’re a broiling fountain of untapped outrage if these orange and black wrapped peanut butter boogers are your favorite. You probably liked these best when you were a kid because your siblings would give all of theirs to you and would not even ask for anything in return. They just didn’t want them contaminating all the good candy in their bags. At work, you’re the “normal” one that flies under the radar until one day when all your coworkers see you on the news throwing eggs at the motorcade of the President of Uzbekistan in protest of their autocratic rule. It’s best to keep the peanut butter chew lover away from sharp objects at work. (Special shout-out to Tammy and Elizabeth in our SkillPath Production department who say this is their favorite candy. Ewww … gross!)

  5. Popcorn Balls

    You’re in your 80’s and are the owner of the company. You remember the olden days of flammable paper Halloween costumes … actually looting places that didn’t give treats away … and being able to trust any neighbor that gave you homemade goodies because serial killers weren’t a thing back then.

That’s it for this edition. I’m sure I’ll do another holiday-themed blog in the upcoming months, so keep checking back in. And, as always, thanks for reading and please share this post if you liked it. It’s always nice to share a little bit of laughter (and Halloween candy) amongst friends.

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