The 16 Strangest Excuses For Missing Work

We asked our Manager’s Minute readers what strange excuses for missing work they’d heard from employees, and then laughed our heads off at what we heard. We thought you might enjoy a chuckle or two as well … so here they are:

• “I got my toe got caught in the sheet and I can’t get out of bed.”

Excuses “I have to go and give my horse an enema.”

• “I have to have brain surgery but will probably be in on Monday or Tuesday.”

• “I can’t get a ride and since my parents are ‘kinda hippies,’ I follow their lead and carpool versus driving myself.”

• “Can’t come to work because the spider bite I got has made me immunocompromised and I can’t be around other people who may be sick.”

• Day One: “I can’t come in because I can’t find my car keys.” Day Two: “I can’t come in, the gopher took my car keys.”

• “I can’t find my false teeth, so I can’t come to work.”

• “I can’t come to work because my hairdryer was in my luggage that was lost by the airlines.”

• “I won’t be in today because my monkey’s highchair fell over and hit my foot.”

• “I will not be in today because I’m in a Mexican jail for drunk and disorderly.”

• “I can’t come in because I hit a deer on the way to work and killed it so I need the day off to dress it out and get it in my freezer.”

• “My only shoes were packed in my suitcase and it didn’t make my flight so I can’t come to work today.”

• “My guppy is having babies and I have to stay home to take care of them.”

Missing work• “I had a flat in L.A. and had to wait for my husband to come from Phoenix to fix it.”

• “I can’t come to work because I can’t find my hairbrush.”

• “I’m calling in DEAD as I’ve used up all of my sick days.”

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